March 28, 2023

1 . My daughter worked hard to create a painting, but I accidentally threw it away as waste paper. The five-year-old boy cried into tears, and all kinds of persuasion were of no avail.

So I took out 50 yuan and dangled back and forth in front of my daughter.

She looked contemptuous: “I’m not your wife, don’t think that women are blind to money!”

I was deeply shocked by the child’s awe-inspiring righteousness, and finally calmed down the storm with two 50s.

2. When I was a child, I couldn’t walk after two years old, and I didn’t know the cause of the disease.

Parents urgently sought medical advice everywhere, and finally tried their best, and invited an old expert to check the total for a long time.

The diagnosis is confirmed – nothing, the child is just lazy.

3. The mother saw the 2-year-old son swallowed a coin, hurriedly picked up the son, turned upside down and patted him on the back, so the child spat out two coins. She felt strange, and quickly said to her husband: “Your son just swallowed one coin, but spit out two, what should I do?” The child’s father said decisively: “Continue to feed the coins.”

4. My classmate’s 3-year-old niece was heard to be very fat, and her mother sent her to learn ballet dance. On that day, the teacher asked the children to split their legs and press their heads forward. The little fat girl didn’t get up for a long time. The teacher went to care about her, but found that she was sleeping soundly.

5. An old crow was thirsty and wanted to drink water. The old crow saw a bottle with water in it, but the mouth of the bottle was very deep and he couldn’t reach it at all. The old crow was very anxious. At this time, a little crow slapped his head and said to the old crow: “Yes, look at me!” The little crow picked up a small stone in its beak and put it in the bottle. After a while, the water in the bottle overflowed. Here, the old crow was dumbfounded. The old crow: “You dead boy, what are you doing?” The little crow: “I’m helping you!” Shit, you idiot!” …

6. I thought I could go online but I didn’t

I just stare blankly at the hub downstairs and give it my last blessing

Isn’t this a kind of insight that allows me to see myself clearly

Internet is a luxury happiness so I always care

i thought i could read but i didn’t

When I see the window I’m still pinging suddenly helpless like a child

Isn’t this a kind of insight that allows me to see myself clearly

Waiting is the only thing to see, unfortunately, it is still terrible

A new day ends like this, a heart seems to be barren

My waiting was wrong, and today I suffer again in vain

How can I be satisfied with giving so sincerely

Ahhh what a pain to realize this is my life

It’s just that when I look back, every step of the road is so painful

Ah…how painful to realize that this is all I have

I only hope that I can break free from the shackles of the gateway and be bound by the machine, the last satisfaction

Stop suffering for the net…

7. In the girls’ dormitory… Roommate A complained: “I was just called a senior by a girl who looks older than me, it’s really uncomfortable!” Roommate B: “The last time I was called auntie by a seventeen or eighteen-year-old child, she is not beautiful at all. I’m done!” Another roommate said faintly: “Don’t worry, I’m content, I collapsed when I gave up a seat on the bus and was touched by an old lady in her 80s and called her big girl!!!!”.

8. The two children are talking about the mountains. A: “Twenty years ago, my father passed by this well and accidentally dropped his watch into the well. Yesterday, I found that watch, and it was still running!” B: “Ah! What a coincidence , my father also walked by the well, he fell into the well by himself, and we didn’t see him until twenty years later.” A: “This is so mysterious ! Your father has been in the well for so many years What did you do?” B: “He’s winding your dad’s watch!”

9. At seven o’clock this evening, I am playing games in the Internet cafe. Sitting next to a primary school student is playing LOL. At this time, an angry parent came, which should be his father. When he was about to hit him, the kid said something that would [explode] the sky. : “If you want to fight at home, you are shameless and I will be shameless! Also, after I finish playing this round, you can choose your weapon when you go home.” Instantly, this child felt that he would not see the sun of tomorrow.

10. My wife stayed in the hospital for more than a week after giving birth. On the day of discharge, I took a lot of things, went through various procedures, and said goodbye to other beds. Along the way, my wife and I were in love with each other, but when Nima got home and received a call, she remembered that the child was still in the hospital…

11. There are children’s hair clippers specially for children’s haircuts in the store. A mother is very interested in this. After a few times, she asked to buy one. We explained that it is not safe to cut children’s hair at home. The mother insisted on buying it back. The newborn puppy was shaved, so there was no way to sell her one. A few days later, the mother brought her son who was wearing a hat over again, and said as soon as she entered the door: “Shave him bald.” I admit that I am not kind. The moment I took off the hat, the realistic version of the painted apple Butt still makes me giggle. The mother was very calm, and the child was upset: “Brother, don’t laugh at me, you haven’t seen my puppy…”

12. A buddy in the dormitory took a fancy to the beauty of his class, and his hard pursuit really made other women envy and hate. We all asked him to report on his experiences and feelings about picking up girls. He also seriously acted on himself: “Beauty, my children say you are so beautiful and want you to be their mother!” The girlfriend said: “You are such innocent and lovely children! Hey… Where is your child?” Roommate She smiled and said: “If you want, I will arrange for you to meet in ten months.” Female: “Is it okay for five months…” We all laughed, a failed love,

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