1. Man: Ms. I think your eyes look like the moon!
Female: Really! (cheering)
Male: Yes! ! One eye looks like fifteen… one eye looks like the first day of junior high school…
female:….
2. An English gentleman shares a box with a French woman, and the woman complains of being cold after taking off her coat and lying down.
The husband gave her his quilt, but she kept complaining that she was cold.
“How else can I help you?” asked Mr. dejectedly.
“My mother always used her own body to keep me warm when I was a child.”
“Miss, I can’t help you. Where can I find your mother?”
3. Strong tea is brewing, cigarettes are being chattered; the mother is lying down, and the newspaper is being read; the mobile phone is hanging up, and the car is sitting; the music is being enjoyed, and the secretary is with him; the tonic is being taken, and the wine is being drunk; the belly is bulging , dressed in fashionable clothes ; bathing in the sauna, dancing in the ballroom; hugged by the lady, rubbing mahjong; living in a private house, kept by a lover; feeding pets, turning around the scenic spot; guarded by relatives and friends, the back door is open; borrowing foreign debts, spending public money The pigtails are kept, but the tail is hidden; the police car is screaming, and the heart is tugging; the handcuffs are on, and the prison is squatting; bitter water is swallowed, and tears of regret are dripping.
4. Colleague Xiao Yan’s girlfriend is his junior high school classmate, a fat girl. Yesterday, the two of us went shopping together, and walked to Xidan after leaving the Book Building. As we walked, Xiao Yan suddenly wanted to buy a dress for his girlfriend, so I followed him into the mall.
Both of us know nothing about clothing, so we didn’t know which one to choose. In the end, Xiao Yan chose a red jacket. He gestured for it and asked the salesperson if he had any fatter jackets. The salesperson said yes, and took out some large-sized ones, and told Xiaoyan that the more Xs on the number, the bigger the clothes.
Xiao Yan picked up a few clothes and compared them, but still felt that they were not suitable, so he asked: “Do you have X, X, X, X, X, L sizes?” The salesperson was stunned for a moment, then asked me: “Your friend Are you stuttering !”
5. A woman was about to jump into the river, and a man among the onlookers asked: “Why is Miss so upset!” The woman: “My boyfriend broke up with me! I don’t want to live anymore!” Man: “Isn’t it just a boyfriend? , What a big deal! I’ll be your boyfriend!” The woman looked at him and jumped down decisively.
6. A certain woman likes to chat online. Because of the excellent writing style, it attracts the admiration of many male netizens. One day a man dared to ask: “How old is Miss?” The answer: “Over twenty.” Then asked: “How about your height?” Answer: “It’s less than 1.70 meters.” “A certain company tried hard to advertise its products, but I declined all three times.” A certain man bowed down and asked if he could meet. A certain woman readily agreed.
When they met each other, a certain man found that a certain woman was extremely ugly, old and short and fat, and shouted that he had been cheated, and asked the certain woman to give him an explanation. A certain woman said: “I’m nearly thirty years old, but I say I’m over twenty, what’s wrong? My height is 1.51 meters, of course it’s less than 1.70 meters. A pig feed company invited me to do an advertisement, and a line said: I I mistook this feed for oatmeal, and eating it once by mistake has the same effect. Your mother would reject this kind of advertisement.” A certain man fainted and fell to the ground.
7. In a marriage agency.
“Miss, do you like men with yellow hair or men with black hair?”
“I want men with red hair! You know, all the furniture in my house is red!”
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