March 28, 2023

1. It’s better to take the subway in hot weather. A beautiful woman opposite has Saddam tattooed on her left leg and Bush Jr. on her right leg. I looked in the middle, and the beautiful woman stared at her and said: Have you ever seen a beautiful woman? I said: I want to see if the beard in the middle is bin Laden!

2. Now people of all ages are playing with their mobile phones on the subway, regardless of their age, and it is still the same as before with friends next to them. I think deeply that the combination of the Internet and mobile applications has indeed brought great convenience to people, but we have alienated our relatives and friends around us. I hope that in a short time, the subway will be full of wonderful facial expressions of people’s language exchanges, and it will no longer be a cold Cold screen against your face. Having said so much, I just want to tell everyone that it is really hard to steal mobile phones now.

3. When I came back from shopping with my daughter-in-law, I suddenly proposed to play some trust game. I closed my eyes, she led me to walk, and smoothly boarded the subway to help me sit down. Just about to give high-fives to congratulate, my daughter-in-law suddenly put her hands on my shoulders, and said seriously in my ear: Don’t open your eyes, someone else gave me this place!

4. On the subway, a fat couple hugged and hugged each other. At this time, the train stopped at the station. The two of them couldn’t stand firmly and were about to fall. A little brother kindly pushed the woman from the back. Talent stands firm. As a result, her boyfriend quit and asked her brother what he was doing. The little brother didn’t look up and said, “One hundred and eight, two is three hundred and sixty, I’m afraid you two will crush me to death.”

5. Many people use Apple on the bus and subway, but I don’t. I’m really embarrassed to take it out, so I have to drive to and from get off work every day.

6. My husband’s cousin was a native before he went to university. He went to Shanghai for the first time to take the subway. When the subway closed, there was a warning bell. My cousin didn’t understand. Hearing the siren, he didn’t know what to think, and immediately squatted down and put his hands on his head. . You know, when the police often appear on TV to arrest the bad guys, the bad guys obey the law obediently. Then, everyone in the subway line was black…

7. I met a beggar at the subway entrance and said: Give me a hundred and let me do whatever I want! I gave him a hundred and said: Change it to loose ones

8. A: Dude, I caught a cold two days ago. I sweated a lot after I squeezed the subway, but I got better.

B: Tsk, there’s no fuss about it. Since I took the subway to the morning shift, I don’t have to buy breakfast anymore. Someone will always stuff soy milk, pancakes, milk, etc. into my mouth. Brother finished eating, others kept apologizing to me: Yao, I’m sorry, I spilled all over your face…

9. I just took the subway, and there is a young couple next to me, a man and a woman. The man sat there playing with his mobile phone, and the woman said to the man: Husband, the book says that mobile phones will make people lose their normal social skills. The most typical thing is that my wife is still playing with mobile phones next to me. What do you think? I just heard the man faintly say: I just think it’s a bit inappropriate to play with you now.

10. I accidentally touched a girl’s chest with my elbow when I was squeezing the subway in the morning. I apologized to her and told her it was unintentional. In the end, she messed around and insisted that I did it on purpose. I was too lazy to argue, so I just reached out and touched it. her chest, told her it was on purpose this time, and she fell silent.

11. On the subway, I feel more and more that the quality of the passengers is low now!

The girl on my left is eating breakfast with her head down, and the big brother on the right is blatantly eating burritos and drinking drinks. Didn’t you see the sign saying that eating is prohibited in the subway?

The most exaggerated thing is that all of you are looking at me, how can I eat stinky tofu with peace of mind? !

12. Just now, on Line 2, a couple ran forward desperately to drive the car, and finally jumped into the car a second before the door closed. After getting on the car, the man turned around. Where is my wife… the man ran away The girl was about to get on the subway, the girl was two seconds behind and was shut outside, and then the two of them said goodbye silently through the car window… I could clearly see the cold sweat on the big brother’s forehead… The washboard is inevitable when I go home, Ha ha

13. Every time you get on the bus or subway, or when you are in line, someone squeezes in and you try to make room for him to pass by more easily, but you find that it has stopped!

14.  The subway is crowded with people; there is a handsome man next to him, and at the beginning, he leaned sideways, and my sister looked at the handsome man; she turned around gorgeously, and clinging to each other face to face, her whole body became limp in an instant, shamefully wet, and The handsome man is also hard.

15. There are three beggars begging in the New York subway.

The beggar wrote “beg” (begging) on ​​the cup, and it only cost tens of yuan for a whole day.

The beggar wrote on the mug, but he asked for hundreds of thousands in one day, and someone discussed with him about listing on Nasdaq.

Beggar wrote e-beg, but IBM and HP rushed to form a strategic alliance with him and provide him with a free advisory group…

16. My sister-in-law is in high school this year, and she always talks to me.

I met unexpectedly on the subway today, she suddenly came to me and shouted: “Give me your seat.”

I got up slowly and pretended to limp away.

Looking back, I saw a bunch of contemptuous eyes and her innocent expression.

Hmph, little boy, fight with me!

17. I had a quarrel with my boyfriend today, and the two of them didn’t talk on the subway, as if they didn’t know each other. As a result, when the subway stopped today, the inertia was very strong. I staggered and fell on my boyfriend. He hugged me and hugged me. Did not let go. I watched the boy next to us look at us in shock, and then… I took two steps towards the girl next to me.

18. A netizen suggested: “Can you design an internationally accepted aunt brooch.

Putting it on means that I have my period today, and my mother has a stomachache and is in a bad mood and doesn’t want to talk.

On the subway bus, some people give up their seats, so they don’t have to do housework at home, and some people pour a glass of water, so they don’t find fault next time.

Among colleagues in the unit, if you don’t talk too much, you will be less efficient.

In the cake shop , all desserts are discounted at 20%, I think I am not the only woman who needs it”

19. What happened just now, there were many people on the subway in the morning, and the last one squeezed onto it.

The bag belt is caught between the door, it should not be able to close the door, the trick is that the door is closed, I just clamp it, GC is a report from the car… This station will open the door on the opposite side.

I can’t go down, and I still don’t know when the door will open here!

20. I heard a conversation between two girls on the subway. One sister paper said to the other sister paper: I am already three months pregnant. Another sister said: No wonder your mouth is getting bigger and bigger. I suffocated to the side.

21. One day, a certain gentleman went to take the subway and was crowded by the crowd, so he yelled: “Be careful, there are disabled people here!”

A passer-by asked, “Where is the disability?”

A certain gentleman replied: “Brain!”

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