1 .To be a man is to be Conan. Became a gentleman, got a female voice; acted cute, pretended to be aggressive; learned chemistry well, got anesthesia when ejaculating; played football well, played extreme games well; got gay friends, got lolita; broken He was able to handle major crimes in the underworld; he was able to fly a plane and avoid machine guns ; he was able to stop an explosion and cause an avalanche. good girlfriend!
2. Ming went to the pharmacy to buy condoms, and the boss looked at him suspiciously… Xiao Ming hurriedly explained: This is a birthday present for his girlfriend! The boss then kindly asked: Do you want to wrap it up for you? Xiao Ming said: No, this is for wrapping presents. Do you understand in seconds?
3. The girlfriend shyly said to her boyfriend: “Benny, after marriage, I can share your troubles and worries, and I can also reduce your work burden.” “Honey, don’t worry. I don’t have any worries, worries and burdens. “”Then you are saying that you are not willing to marry me?””What does that mean?””Because after marriage, you will have all these things.”
4. My best friend and my girlfriend are in love, and I often go to live with my girlfriend secretly at night, fight fiercely at night, and slip away before dawn in the morning, for fear of being discovered by my girlfriend’s family. Just got out of the car, and as soon as he heard the sound of the three wheels starting, this buddy would get up and drive away. Only one day, the neighbor’s tricycle broke down, and then the buddy lay under the bed for a whole day…
5. His girlfriend is Bai Fumei, and his family has a farm and ranch with a fixed high income. He also raised a Scottish shepherd dog to look after the farm, invited a witch to look after the ranch, 10 Ferrari sports cars, and several slaves. I have a high social status, and I have my own restaurant, a supermarket, and a high income. However, since his QQ was stolen, she has nothing…
6. I asked my girlfriend is height important? Napoleon 165, Lenin 164, Stalin 162, Louis XIV 156, Khrushchev 166, Alexander the Great 150, Charlemagne 150 , Mussolini 160, Hitler 165, Truman 163, Roh Moo-hyun 168, Lu Xun 158, Sun Yat- sen 158 , Pushkin 165, Einstein 164… My girlfriend said: Yes, you are about the same height as them.
7. One day, my girlfriend and I were walking on a path in the forest. My girlfriend pulled me and said: Hey, look at the fallen leaves all over the ground, can you use a literary word to describe our behavior. I thought about it, and said to her seriously: Pornography!
8. My girlfriend loves little rabbits very much, so I bought one and keep it every day. One day I looked at the rabbit and said, “Isn’t this rabbit well-fed? Let’s eat spicy rabbit meat …” My girlfriend said loudly, “How dare you! Let’s talk about fattening up…”
9. When a certain gentleman wakes up in the morning, his girlfriend looks at him with contempt. “Did you have a dream last night?”, “How do you know, I seem to dream that I went to war and killed a few Japanese devils…”, my girlfriend interrupted me disdainfully: “Kill a fart, you are in my old lady Taijun Taijun screamed in my ear all night…
10. I went shopping with my best friend yesterday, and I asked her why her boyfriend didn’t come, she said nonchalantly: I went to confinement with my ex-girlfriend, she just got divorced…
I have known my best friend for more than 20 years, but I didn’t know that her heart is so broad and boundless!
11. Girlfriend: “I’ll give you all the coriander, eat more!” Boyfriend: “When did it become so good?” Girlfriend: “Do you know what effect eating coriander will have?” Boyfriend: “I don’t know!” Girlfriend: “Yang Wei!” Boyfriend: “Then you let me eat it?” Girlfriend: “I can change my boyfriend if I eat it for you!”
12. My new girlfriend masturbates me with her hands, it feels great.
Asked: Your skill is so good.
She said: After many years of training, practice makes perfect.
I said: Oh, you have seen countless men.
She said quietly: No, I used to be a man too.
13. My girlfriend asked me how I felt when we fell in love with her. I thought for a while and said: I don’t feel much, I just feel that I don’t have enough money. then there is no more
14. I annoyed my girlfriend because my mobile phone was out of battery. After I woke up today, I was still thinking about how to compensate her. As a result, my girlfriend called me first, all kinds of concern, all kinds of questions asked me if I had breakfast, just in my heart When she thought it was a harbinger of a storm, she quietly said, did you buy that box of snacks? That’s when I remembered that the food I bought for her two days ago has arrived. Foodie is indeed a magical creature!
15. One day, a certain gentleman and his beautiful girlfriend came to the seaside, and the girlfriend raised her arms and shouted: “Ah, the sea!” The certain gentleman closed his eyes and pretended to be intoxicated, ready to listen to a lyric poem that followed… “You How fucking big!” Huh? A certain gentleman can’t help but fall down. A young man wrote to his girlfriend: “Darling, for you, I am ready to cross the ocean without hesitation, jump into the abyss without hesitation; to meet you, I will overcome any difficulty… I will be there on time on Sunday Go, if it doesn’t rain.”
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