1. When I first got married, my husband said to the landlord: Whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or not depends entirely on what the husband does. Your husband and I have a high EQ, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be wrong… One day, my mother-in-law made stewed noodles with tomatoes. The host doesn’t like to eat, and is trying to eat it, so I heard my husband say: Mom, Xiaoqian doesn’t like to eat stewed noodles, so don’t do it in the future! Let Xiaoqian do the cooking in the future… Such a ‘considerate’ husband must be a fake husband…
2. I remember that he used to wear metal braces to correct his teeth for a while. Once we were reviewing homework together, I was really bored, so I asked him to kiss on my chest. He was also short-tempered, so he stomped on it, and all the hairs from my liquid sockets caught on his braces. I yelled and screamed in pain, and there were no scissors by my side, so we could only maintain that humble posture at home. Find scissors. Fortunately, it was at home. If it happened in some public place, the consequences would be unimaginable!
3. Son: Mom, the underwear of the aunt next door fell on the ground in the yard! Mom: How do you know it’s Auntie’s underwear? Son: I know it, I saw it in your room the night before yesterday! Mom: In our room? Son: Yes, my aunt and dad were playing hide-and-seek under the covers the night before yesterday, and I saw the red underwear on the bedside table. Mom: Hide and seek, take off your panties? Son: Yes, my aunt and I were caught by my father, and we were punished to take off our pants… Mom: Ah! !
4. A friend wanted to invite the statue of Mazu home, because he was a man on a plane, and if he put it on his lap, he was afraid that it would be disrespectful to Mazu, so the friend bought a seat for the statue and put the statue on it. In the seat and fastened the seat belt, everything is ready, just waiting for the plane to take off ! But…the plane didn’t take off for a long time. When the friend got impatient, he heard the broadcast from the stewardess: “Miss Lin Mo Niang, Miss Lin Mo Niang, please board the plane quickly when you hear the broadcast.”
5. The leader went to the border guards to experience life, and asked: How to solve the sex life of soldiers?
The soldier pointed to the female camel outside: it all depends on it.
The leader shook his head, another month, the leader couldn’t stand it, and thought: admit it, bring the camel to my tent.
The soldiers brought the camels, and they were surprised to see that the leader took a long time to manage the camels.
At the end of the matter, the leader sighed: Do you bother so much every time?
The soldier shook his head: We usually ride it to the town to find girls.
6. Once, my younger brother was going back to Beijing by train. My mother bought my younger brother a lot of delicious food, including KFC, chocolate… My younger brother took them all, except for the small tomato bought by my mother. My mother asked why, my younger brother Said: This is for my sister to eat. I was so moved that tears were about to fall, and I said: My brother is so kind, I know that beautiful women should eat bell peppers. The younger brother listened, smiled, and went to the train. Just after the train left, my text message came. I saw it was from my younger brother. I thought he had something to say, but when I read the text message, I almost died of anger. Cherry tomatoes are specially eaten by leftover girls.
7. An eighty-year-old man brought his newly married wife. The doctor told his wife that he was happy, and the old man danced happily. The doctor said: Listen to a story, please. A hunter was walking home after shooting all the bullets. Suddenly, a tiger came from the woods. The hunter subconsciously raised the shotgun and pulled the trigger, only to hear a bang. The tiger fell to the ground. The old man hurriedly interjected: Impossible, someone must have shot nearby. Doctor: Yes…
8. I had a drink with my friend the day before yesterday, and I asked, “How much can you drink?”
My friend didn’t speak, but put up a finger, and I said, “One box.”
Shake your head.
“a mention”
Still shaking his head.
“A bottle.”
My friend continued to shake his head.
I was very puzzled, my friend said: “Drink all the time.”
faint………
9. Question: Do men who smoke smell better, or men who drink alcohol?
Answer: A man who doesn’t take a bath has the most taste!
Question: Why does Bao Qingtian have a moon on his forehead.
Bao Zheng : During the day, I don’t understand my master’s blackness.
Q: What should I do if I suddenly have a desire to work or study?
A: Drink plenty of water and rest.
10 . Lin Yueru: How about it, did you win the martial arts competition with my father? Li Xiaoyao: I didn’t win, but I didn’t lose either. According to the method you told me in advance, I stole your father’s Seven Star Sword with Feilong Tanyun, and he really stopped. Lin Yueru: Of course, my family’s Seven Star Sword is passed on from men to women, from inside to outside. If you get it, you will be our son-in-law. Of course he won’t do it again. Li Xiaoyao: Huh? If I had known earlier, I would not have stolen it!
11. In the morning, when Dalin’s mother cooked Laba porridge, she asked everyone to get up and drink it, even her five-month-old grandson was not left behind. Everyone sat around the table, Dalin’s daughter-in-law hugged her son, and Lao Lin and his wife teased the grandson together, “Come, drink Laba porridge, Laba (Laba), Laba (Laba)…” After saying it a few times, I heard “噗嗤” With a sound, the grandson really pooped! He spoiled the whole family’s appetite.
12. I passed by a Sanda training class at work today. I suddenly remembered that when I was learning Sanda, I had a bet with someone on whether I could kick his head with a high whip kick. It was winter and I was still wearing woolen trousers, my head twitched and I went straight to my legs. As a result, because the trousers were too thick, when the left leg was kicked, the right leg was lifted up, and the whole person was lying on the ground with a confused face.
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