1 . The wife is watching a blind date show and sees a fat female guest fail to hold hands with the man she likes, so she says to her husband: “If this woman likes you, do you?” Husband: “I don’t like fat Yes.” Wife: “What will you do if I get fat?” Husband: “Then what else can I do? I’ll smash it in my hand.” Wife: “…”
2. Wife: “Honey, what do I look like? Be honest.”
Husband: “Looks good, a bit patriarchal!”
3. The husband and wife quarrel, the wife yells, and the husband rolls on the ground silently. Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “I’m punishing you. I don’t need to wash the dirty clothes.”
4. Wife: “Honey, I want it!”
Husband: “You’re already pregnant, stop and stop.”
Wife: “I want to, my husband, hurry up, I just want to give you a filial child.”
5. The wife has been pregnant for five months, and the husband has been immersed in joy. On the weekend, the wife touched her belly and said, “Husband, my stomach hurts. It must be your cub kicking me again.” The husband: “This kid is not honest. I’ll give him a good beating when he comes out, and I’ll relieve my wife.” But my wife immediately said, “No, no, he’s still so young! Why don’t you poke him now and warn him to be more honest…”
6. Husband: What if I cheated?
Wife: Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, at most, I will cripple you.
Husband: My wife, you are so kind!
Wife: We can still be sisters if we can’t be husband and wife.
Husband has black lines on his face…
7. A girl got into a black car, and the driver said: “The arrest is strict now. If you are investigated, you have to say that we are friends.” The girl replied: “It’s okay, just say I am your wife.” Coincidentally, the car just arrived Sure enough, the entrance of the commercial building was checked, and the driver said, “This is my wife.” Suddenly, the girl said, “Husband, I will get off here, and you give me 300 yuan, and I will go to the supermarket in front of me to buy something and then go home by myself. The driver reluctantly took out 300 yuan and said in a crying voice, “Honey, go home early.”
8. Wife: We have known each other for so many years.
Husband: But you still have a secret that you didn’t tell me.
Wife: What secret do you know about me?
Husband: Every time you fake an orgasm…
9. The wife acted like a baby and said: Husband? , Look at her breasts have become bigger, and her buttocks are also raised! People now also have a front and a back,! The husband said sourly: Is it necessary to put the fact that you have gained 40 catties in such an artistic way ?
10. Wife: Husband, let’s play a proposal game, shall we? Husband: OK. Did you propose to me or did I propose to you? Wife: Of course you proposed to me. Husband: Darling, will you marry me? Wife: Where are the flowers ? Husband: Oh. Rose? lily? Carnations? Wife: None, too vulgar! Better be realistic! Husband: What is the reality? Wife: Money! Husband: But I have no money. Wife: Then propose to me when you get paid! Husband: You…
11. Wife: Husband, drink more!
Husband: Wife, why are you so abnormal today? Don’t you hate me drinking?
Wife: I hate that our family has RMB that is not in my control, so hurry up, get my old lady drunk so I can explain where your little treasury is hidden…
husband:……
12. Husband: Wife, if one day I unfortunately leave you first, you must find another one. Don’t be a widow for me!
Wife: Husband, don’t worry, I’ve already found someone, and I’ll wait for you to die.
13. Wife: “Husband, I took a shower with my best friend today, and I found a leek on her underwear, don’t you think it’s strange?”
“Who said no?” I answered while looking in the mirror while picking my teeth.
There was a sudden dead silence, and we discovered something at the same time…
14. In winter, the young couple like to sleep late.
One morning, just after dawn, my wife was woken up by a slap from her husband.
When the husband saw that his wife had woken up, he immediately took her into his arms and covered her with a quilt.
Wife: Why did you wake me up?
Husband: “I woke up and saw that you were not covered with a quilt, and it was cold. I thought you were dead.
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