March 28, 2023

1. The boss of the company drank too much and promised that the company would give out benefits at Christmas and send corresponding gifts to employees of each constellation.

Taurus, send a cow; Aries, send a sheep; Pisces, send two fish; Cancer, send a hairy crab; a buddy was so happy at the time… Everyone was puzzled.

He shouted: “I’m a Virgo”

2. A buddy went abroad and brought back an Indian friend. In the evening, I invited them to dinner and asked the Indians what to eat. The Indians said that they can eat anything. He is not picky eaters and also ridiculed that it is uncivilized for Chinese people to eat with chopsticks and they cannot enjoy the original taste of food. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that what he said made sense, so I took them to eat hot pot!

3. A buddy is going to Thailand to transgender, this is the background grid… The brothers went to see him off, and when they boarded the plane, they were moved and said, “Guys, take care! Let you try it when you come back, is it okay?” The audience burst into tears, what a good buddy in China! ! !

4. Last night, I went to the bathing center opened by my friend to get some things. When I got to the door, I met a buddy who asked me to drink, so I said to him: Don’t worry, I’ll get it done in a minute! Go inside after speaking. Fuck! What’s the meaning of the contemptuous expression on your beautiful face smoking a cigarette at the door! I just went up to get something, don’t think about your work, okay?

5. The dormitory is one-sided, one side is the room and the other side is the window.

A buddy, after washing his feet at night, he didn’t want to go to the public washroom to pour the foot washing water, so he directly poured the water out of the window.

I forgot that the window glass was not opened, and the footwashing water bounced back directly. That buddy covered his face and body. This is not GC. The GC is the buddy who calmly said: “Oh, it’s really windy tonight.”

Everyone in the dormitory covered their stomachs and laughed wildly… for five minutes..

6. I have a buddy who was driving on the road with a barrel of liquor on his motorcycle , and was stopped by the police. The police asked loudly how much wine you drank? The buddy said he didn’t drink, and the police said he didn’t drink? How dare you say you didn’t drink it? At this time, my buddy also smelled a strong smell of wine. Looking back, he saw a big opening in the wine barrel and the wine was flowing out. He hurriedly unloaded the barrel and said to the police: Thank you so much, otherwise I would get the barrel of wine home. It dries up.

7.A few days ago, I sent a girl to my buddy. The girl said that I would buy her an Iphone5s and agreed to date my buddy. My buddy said without thinking: I will buy you an Iphone 5s. Now that girl is so tired of my buddy. My buddy asked me today: Does that girl not understand Beijing dialect…

8. A buddy drives very slowly. He can drive more than 40 minutes for more than ten kilometers to work in the morning. He gets up early every day so as not to be late.

Today, I met a cleaning old man who often saw a tricycle swaying over his car and said to him: “Young man is getting up early to practice the car again. Hurry up, the traffic police will go to work in a while…”

9. One day, I went to the bathroom with a stomachache. I just farted, and suddenly found that I lost my wallet. I hurried to find it. The buddy next door came and said: Damn, even farts come to the toilet.

10. My buddy went to make a deposit today. It happened that the ATM machine malfunctioned and 10,000 yuan was swallowed. I contacted the bank immediately and was told to wait. Then he racked his brains to think, and suddenly had an idea, he used the public phone to call the customer service, saying that the ATM machine spit out 3,000 yuan more, and the maintenance personnel arrived 5 minutes later.

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