1. Sun Wukong dominates the lower realm and alarms the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor calls the gods to ask, “Where is the god in the lower realm doing the evil?”
Taibai Jinxing said, “It’s a monkey.” The Jade Emperor asked, “Describe that monkey.”
Taibai Jinxing replied, “He has yellow hair and is good at fighting.” The Jade Emperor asked, “Can you simplify it?”
Taibai Jinxing replied “very pornographic, very violent”
2. Why can’t Sun Wukong beat Erlang Shen? Everyone knows that Shitou is Wukong’s parents, and Erlang God once pressed Chenxiang ‘s mother, his younger sister, under Mount Hua, and Huashan is Shitou Mountain. Wukong’s parents obey Yang Jian’s command, it is not easy for Wukong and Yang Jian to draw evenly! Allelopathy! Just like how Bai Suzhen dealt with Crane Boy, it’s not bad if her feet are not soft!
3. I laughed so hard, the manager of the lighter business department beat his five-year-old son yesterday, slap! ! ! A few slaps on the buttocks seemed to be very hard, and the boy complained to his mother with tears in his eyes: Mom, change him, he is so violent, and a new father can be good to me. The manager laughed, and everyone burst out laughing. child now. well! ! ! ! ! My childhood was eaten by dogs.
4. Uncle changed a ringtone, it was a girl’s voice, and the content was roughly: No, don’t answer the phone and so on.
One day when my uncle was busy, my grandmother called him, but she didn’t answer. When my uncle came back, my grandmother asked, “Who is that girl on the phone? Why don’t you answer the phone!”
Uncle was stunned for a while, and then explained: Mom, that’s a ringtone.
Grandma said loudly: Which girl is the ring bell? You have a daughter-in-law! Laugh out of breath
5. The landlord’s construction site dog. Those who have been to the construction site know that the night life on the construction site is boring, so they often play cards, and every time they lose, they will chop their hands if they want to play again. In those years, I changed from Avalokitesvara to one-armed Yang Guo. After I got married, I actually quit gambling. I told my daughter-in-law about it. I wanted her to praise me, but my daughter-in-law said something leisurely, and Yang Guo couldn’t chop it off with one hand!
6. When I was young, everyone liked to sing. I was on the side of the road and picked up a penny… Nima really met me! I was walking in the park that day and saw a silver coin dropped in front of me, but I was too embarrassed to pick it up! So I said loudly: Who has no sense of public morality! Spit the phlegm on the road …then took out a tissue and picked up the silver coins! It really is a penny!
7. Female: How did you come here?
Man: I came by car.
The woman said happily: What kind of car are you driving?
Man: It’s not a good car, hundreds of thousands, a garbage truck…
Female excitement: Nima, a car worth hundreds of thousands is still called a garbage truck? Really rich… Can you take me for a ride?
Man: Okay, let’s go… Pointing to the garbage removal truck on the side of the road, let’s get on…
8. My 8-year-old nephew asked me to tell a story… Me: “A man took an aphrodisiac by mistake and had nowhere to vent. When he saw a pig in the yard, he wanted to fuck it. The pig’s buttocks swayed from side to side, and he just refused to… I was in a hurry, and a fairy fell from the sky, with protruding front and back, fair and beautiful!”…Little nephew: “Auntie, did he have sex with that fairy?”…The fairy said: “I can satisfy any of your requirements!”…Man Ecstasy: “That’s great, that’s great, help me hold this pig down!”…Little nephew: “That’s how Tang Seng was. In front of Guanyin Bodhisattva, he subdued Bajie?”…
9. Ten Chinese words that have been destroyed in the past ten years: 1. Miss: from noble to vulgar; 2. Beauty: from stunning to sex; 3. Boss: from rare to everywhere; 4. Chicken: from poultry to human; 5. .Milk powder: from food to drugs; 6. Expert: from expert to hooligan; 7. Cousin: from relative to corrupt official; 8. Godfather: from elder to husband; 9. Chrysanthemum: from plant to organ; 10. Temporary worker : From impotent to omnipotent.
10. I rent a house with my colleagues, and the sound insulation effect of the house is very poor.
At night, the couple next door would slap, and the sound made it impossible to fall asleep even under the pillow.
One day when I just went out, the hostess next door also came out, because I kept looking at her, she said shyly: Hello!
I said, “Hello, I have heard of you for a long time, and I am like a thunderbolt”
The other party blushed and scolded: You stinky rascal…
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