March 28, 2023

1.Witty quotes: People are iron, fan is steel, don’t pretend to panic for a day; the grandson who has pretended for half his life, the kind who doesn’t know the art of war; protect yourself and love others, please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people; RMB creates miracles all the time .

2.A man wanted to beat a spatula. A blacksmith happened to pass by the door. He called the blacksmith into the house and asked the blacksmith to beat it with a weight. The blacksmith said: “This is pig iron , you can’t beat it.” The man said: “Then come tomorrow, and I will bring you wrought iron.” The next day the blacksmith came as promised, and the man fished out the weight from the pot. The blacksmith said unhappily: “I told you it’s pig iron, so it can’t be used!” Unexpectedly, the man also lost his temper: “Don’t show off if your skills are not good! Yesterday I put this weight in a pot and boiled it over high heat. In the middle of the night, how can you say it’s still raw!” The man in the mountains had never eaten glutinous rice balls, and once he was shopping, he asked for a bowl, scooped one up with a spoon, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it smooth and hot, good guy, Burning pain burning heart, full of anger. When he came home at night, he saw the wontons made at home and sneered, “Tangyuan, Tangyuan, you think you have two wings, so I won’t recognize you! Clean you up.”

3. Today I slept alone in the dormitory, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I found a roommate had returned. I asked strangely: “Didn’t you all go to the Northwest this morning?” He: “There was a problem with the car on the road, and I came back!” Me: “Then why didn’t they come back?” He: “They left My home is close, I’m going home! My home is far away, so I’m going back here!” I rushed to the door, knocked desperately, and shouted, “Open the door! I want to go out! Prison guards!”…

4. Background, sophomore year. On the night before the computer class, we would put the books and laptops we were going to use tomorrow back into the bag. One night, someone got up in the middle of the night to pee, and replaced the laptop in the roommate’s computer bag with an induction cooker. The next day, gc can imagine for himself, under the watchful eyes of a group of people, he took out an induction cooker from his bag! A few of us laughed and took a class!

5. A few days ago, my daughter-in-law went out to play mahjong. When she came home in the middle of the night, she was afraid of waking me up, so she took off all her clothes in the living room and walked into the bedroom gently. This is awesome.

6. Thirsty, just went downstairs to the convenience store to buy a drink. The three men were sitting there blowing the sea… After the background was explained, Geji Geji… only one man said: Our current generation, don’t think about relying on children in the future, it’s really unreliable. I still have to save some money for the elderly, otherwise when I get old… I just walked over and said: It’s like you have a child and a wife, you have a wife, and you will still be here in the middle of the night How much to brag about? Hey, stop talking and keep running. They chased me for two blocks…

7. I don’t know if there are long-term friends like me, who can’t help but masturbate by themselves even after they get married. Sometimes I lie on the bed with my wife, and I quietly get up in the middle of the night to masturbate. The feeling is so exciting. Last night she fell asleep and couldn’t help but get up again to masturbate. When she was masturbating vigorously, a slipper threw at me, and my wife glared at me with displeasure: “You don’t have a wife?! Why do you masturbate by yourself? ” I replied with a look of grievance: “Your skills are too poor, and you always give away people’s heads, so I dare not take you…”

8.Skelton is a famous poet. Once, when he went to a banquet, he drank too much and couldn’t go back to his apartment. So, he lived in a small inn. In the middle of the night, he was so thirsty that he yelled for water, but no one answered him. He called his groom again, but the groom was not there. How to do it? It can’t go on like this! With an idea, he shouted: “Firefighting!” Fight the fire! Suddenly, the whole store was in chaos, and everyone got up. He continued to shout, and after a while the groom and the man rushed in with candles: Where is the fire, why can’t we see it? Here, Skelton pointed to his throat, the fire is here, bring me some water, and put it out!

9. I took my nephew to camp and slept until midnight and was woken up by my nephew. “Uncle, what did you see?” “The moon.” “Uncle, what else did you see?” “Stars.” “Uncle, what did you think?” “Nothing.” “Uncle, our tent was stolen!”

10. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and touched my side. My wife pressed the quilt under her body, and her body was freezing cold. She wanted to cover her with the quilt. One kick! I threw it on the ground for my wife! The wife who woke up stared at me with wide eyes. After a long time, she said quietly, “Husband, do you want to change someone? In such a hurry? Can’t wait until tomorrow morning?”

11. A nurse in the ICU said that when she was on duty in the middle of the night one day, a patient who usually believed in God suddenly said something in his sleep: Where is my body? What, I suddenly feel that the whole person is not well.

12. When I was sleeping in the middle of the night, there was a thunder outside the window, and I was awakened. She shrank to my side and hugged me tightly: “I… I’m so scared…” I also started to get scared, because I obviously live alone.

13. Go back to your natal home with your daughter-in-law! I’m eating food stalls with my father-in-law in the middle of the night, don’t ask why! When I was rushed to the living room by my daughter-in-law, my father-in-law was also looking at me with a pillow in the living room~ Come to father-in-law, I respect you!

14. A colleague who used to be a soldier told a story about it. I laughed so hard… I smoked while standing guard at night. When the leader found out, he rushed away and ran away. This guy saw a very low window, opened it and got in. …According to his statement: Damn! Mortuary! So in the spirit of frightening to death, he slammed on the locked door, but the janitor was almost scared to death. No one in the morgue in the middle of the night was afraid .

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