1 . Dear Teacher Wang: Hello~~! I wanted to ask for leave. I didn’t want to at first, but my father collected the protection fee yesterday and was cut off. He couldn’t find any manpower today, so he asked me to make up the number. Teacher Wang, please rest assured that I will not be hacked with a knife. Although I am only in the second grade, I had already fought with Xiaoqiang from the next class last year. He was in the fifth grade at that time. I was dragged into the hospital for eight stitches, and stayed in the hospital for a week. At that time, I was merciful. My dad said that you must be ruthless when you make trouble with others, so…
2. There is a super handsome guy in the class who fails every exam.
We took the exam today, and the invigilator was a woman in her 20s.
Seeing that the handsome guy didn’t start writing, the invigilator asked, “Why don’t you write?”
The handsome guy gave the teacher a wink and said: I don’t know what to do?
The teacher looked at the handsome guy in a nympho and said: Don’t worry, I’ll show you what other people wrote!
3. Xiao Ming series.
After class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to make a sentence with coincidence.
Xiao Ming stood up and said: One day I saw a beautiful woman and said: Do you want a date?
The beauty replied: Sorry, I don’t date children!
Teacher: Get out!
4. The teacher told the students about puppy love. Teacher: “Student, don’t fall in love now, because you are talking about other people’s wives now.” Classmate: “Wow! Other people’s wives are exciting .”
5. One day, the teacher asked everyone to do an experiment. Cut the earthworm into two pieces to see if it could survive. Only one student died. The teacher was very surprised. He walked over to have a look and cursed: Who told you to cut it horizontally!
6. When I was in primary school, my teacher was surprised by my test scores and made an exception to let me skip two grades, from the fourth grade to the second grade.
7. For the final exam, what is the 100th power of 1? Xiao Ming took the draft paper and rode on it over and over again. When Xiao Ming finally got to the 83rd time, the math teacher came over. Standing behind Xiao Ming, watching me tirelessly calculate 1 times 1 repeatedly. Seeing that Xiao Ming was done, he walked quickly to the podium and said: “Students, I made a mistake in a question. Let me correct it now. The one to the 100th power Fill in the blanks, now please change it to 1 to the 1000th power.” Xiao Ming: “…”
8. My top ten illusions: 1. Changing my hairstyle will make me look prettier. 2. When people smile at me, they like me. 3. The teacher really thinks I’m smart. 4. I can finish the homework I brought home during the holidays. 5. Today’s work Things can be done today 6. Be sure to go to bed early tonight 7. You can not play with your phone for an hour 8. If you lose weight, you can become beautiful 9. If you can become thinner 10, you can become beautiful
9. Mr. Hu likes to quote famous quotes in his lectures. In one class, he quoted Confucius, Mencius and Sun Yat-sen, and wrote “Kong Shuo”, “Meng Shuo” and “Sun Shuo” on the blackboard. Finally, he summed up a few words and wrote On “Bullshit”.
11. A teacher asked the students to write an essay “My Ideal”
Student 1 wrote: My ideal is to be a construction engineer, because I want to design all the classrooms in the school as circular, so that no matter how the teacher punishes me, I will not stand in the corner of the classroom.
Student 2 wrote: My ideal is to be a doctor, because after I become a doctor, I can beat the teacher in a fair manner!
Student 3 wrote: My ideal is to be a barber. If I cut my teacher’s hair, I can make him bow his head and he will bow his head, and let him raise his head and he will raise his head!
Student 4 wrote: My greatest dream is to be a teacher. It’s not because of how honorable the teacher is, I just want to try to make the students feel exciting or not!
12. In English class. Teacher: Your English is so poor that I can’t understand it at all. Student: Of course you don’t understand, I’m speaking the British dialect.
13. When my son signed up for school, the head teacher was a beautiful woman in her early twenties.
Son: Mom, is this my teacher?
Wife: Yes, this is your class teacher.
The son said to the teacher: Wow! Teacher, you are so beautiful, when I grow up, if the teacher still
If I don’t have a boyfriend, I will marry you as my wife.
So the son naturally became the teacher’s favorite student.
14. The math teacher was taking a lunch break when suddenly a student came to ask a math question. Student: Why is the line segment between two points the shortest? Teacher: This is an axiom, and there is no need to prove it. It is a correct proposition. Student: I still don’t understand. Teacher: For example, a piece of meat is thrown here, and there is a dog there. Do you think the dog comes to eat it directly, or does it come in a big circle? Health: Definitely come and eat directly. Teacher: That’s right, every dog knows this question, why don’t you know it!
15. I like to listen to music. When I was in class, I was afraid that the teacher would find out, so I made gestures with my deskmate, pointed at the teacher, and then pointed at my earphones. He made an OK gesture. I thought he understood. Huo actually raised his hand to signal the teacher and said: Teacher, I am listening to music at the same table, please keep your voice down in class, I will wipe…
16. One day in a music class, the teacher said: “Recently, the program “The Voice of China” is very popular. What is the good voice in your mind!”
The whole class roared: “The school bell is a good voice in China!”
The teacher has black lines all over his face.
17. English teacher: Xiao Ming, can you translate “Are you free tonight?”
Xiao Ming: Are you…tonight…for free?
After the translation, the whole class was silent, and 2 seconds later the whole class laughed.
The English teacher smiled and shouted: Get out…
18. The teacher talked about the Bible and said that the great flood drowned all living things on the earth. Xiao Ming asked the teacher: Are you sure? The teacher said: OK. Xiao Ming: What about the fish? Teacher: You go out!
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