March 28, 2023

1 . A scholar went to the garden to play, and saw that the hedge was covered with roses, which was charming and pleasant. Climbing close to him, his finger was pierced by Qiang, bleeding profusely. I met a shepherd boy by chance and said: “If the blood doesn’t stop, you can pour hot urine on it.” According to his words, the blood will stop immediately. So he made a slogan to praise him: “Walking in the garden today, I saw the rose covered the tree with red. When I picked it up, I was stabbed, and the blood flowed more than the hand was bright red. The shepherd boy passed on the hot urine, and it disappeared without a trace. Mo Dao There is no magic medicine in the world, and layer son can also be a doctor.”

2. Once, Hua Tuo treated a county magistrate. After pulse diagnosis, he found out that he was depressed. He thought that as long as the county magistrate lost his temper, he would be cured. So he deliberately overcharged his belongings, but did not prescribe medicine for treatment. Soon he left him and left a letter scolding him. Sure enough, the sheriff was very angry and wanted someone to hunt down Hua Tuo. The sheriff’s son knew about it, so he secretly told him not to chase him. The sheriff was so angry that he immediately vomited several liters of black blood, and he recovered quickly.

3. When there were only Adam and Eve in the world, there were days when Adam did not return home at night, and Eve felt very sad.

She complained to Adam, “You must have another woman out there.”

Adam retorted: “You are really unreasonable, you are the only woman in the world.” Then Adam fell asleep.

Suddenly, Adam felt a pain in his chest. It turned out that Eve was stabbing him.

He growled angrily, “What are you doing?”

Eve replied, “Counting your ribs.”

4. Wang Yigong, a native of Jiangxia, loved to collect antiques and antiques, and often searched for them among his colleagues in the court. He Xu (Xù), the servant, had already given him his collection of antiques, but Wang Yigong often asked for them, and He Xu was very angry. He Xu often went out, and in the future, whenever he saw dog shackles and apron with a broken calf’s nose on the road, he would ask his entourage to pick them . And wrote in the letter: “Thanks to you for asking me to send you ancient relics, today I present the dog shackles used by Li Si, and the calf-nosed aprons that Sima Xiangru used to open the hotel back then, please accept them with a smile.”

5. Avalokitesvara: “Elder Tang, you will meet Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng, and Sha Wujing on the way to learn scriptures.” Tang Seng nodded and left, gathered the three apprentices all the way, swung the Zen stick and beat Ba Jie and Drifting until their brains burst and they spit out blood.

Guanyin shouted in the air: “What are you doing!” Tang Seng replied: “As you said! Sun Wukong has met, and he is punishing Wuneng, killing Wujing!”

6. In the Jin Dynasty, Che Yin put fireflies in a bag and read books by the weak fluorescent light; Sun Kang read in the snow by the light reflected by the white snow. Once, Sun Kang went to visit Che Yin, but he didn’t see him, so he asked him where he was, and the gatekeeper replied, “I went outside to catch fireflies.”

Soon, Che Yin returned to visit Sun Kang, saw him standing leisurely in the courtyard, and asked, “Why don’t you study?”

Sun Kang replied: “I don’t think the weather is going to snow.”

7. After Huang Yaoshi played the song “Bi Hai Chaosheng”, all the enemies broke their livers and gallbladders, and fell to the ground to die. Huang Yaoshi: “Hahahaha! Sick woodcutter, how can your internal strength listen to the old man’s song?”

Peach Blossom Island Servant: “Master, you play out of tune, eat stinky tofu and garlic every day and don’t brush your teeth. If it weren’t for the fact that we are all deaf and put on gas masks in advance, we would have died a long time ago…”

8. In the Tang Dynasty, there was a monk named Fagui who was ugly and short. One day, he preached the monk scriptures in front of the temple. A man named Li Rong went to argue with him.

Monk Fagui sat high on the stage. When he saw that Li Rong didn’t show courtesy, he argued. He recited a poem and said: “The surname is Li Yingxu Li (Li), and the name is Rong and not honorable.”

Li Rong retorted: “The figure is three and a half feet, and the hair on the head has not yet grown.”

9 . During the Tang Dynasty, Gaizhou paid tribute to the court every year with oranges wrapped in paper. Later, the chief officials thought it was not respectful enough to do so, so they used cloth to wrap the tangerines. After that, they often worried whether the fine cloth would damage the tangerines. Soon, a censor named Gan Zibu came to Gaizhou. The chief official thought he was here to investigate the matter of wrapping oranges with cloth, and was very panicked, saying: Sure enough, he was investigated! When Gan Zibu arrived at the post station, the chief official kept repeating his story about wrapping oranges in cloth to show respect when he came out to greet him. Gan Zibu didn’t understand why he kept explaining this question at first, but after listening a lot, he realized that it had something to do with his name. Those who listened to the lecture burst out laughing.

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