1 .The biology department of a certain university has three majors : zoology , entomology, and botany . At the all-department student meeting, the host shouted: “Animals sit on the left, insects sit on the right, and plants sit in the middle.”
2. A little girl called the radio station and wanted to order a song for her mother. The host: Why did she order a song for her mother?
Little girl: Mom works very hard every day, and she can’t rest well on weekends, so she has to find various homework for me. Also take me to various tutoring.
The host was very touched and said that she is very sensible and a good child of her mother, so she asked what song do you want?
Little girl: “Why do women make things difficult for women.”
3. Attending a classmate’s wedding today, the host was all unscrupulous . When introducing the groom, “** Zhang is young and promising, and has a successful career, but he dedicated the most precious thing in his youth to his right hand.” The whole audience Hilarious, the groom looked embarrassed, the host calmly pretended to forget the words, looked at the card in his hand, and then said “the lady on the right hand”, it was a false alarm!
4. I bought a mobile phone a few days ago and went to the lottery draw today, giggling, the grandpa in front of the host got the first prize, a smart phone.
The host asked: Uncle, are you happy? Are you happy? Will you use it?
The uncle replied very calmly: I don’t know how to use it, so you have to give it to me!
5. Guo Meimei and her mother participated in a program. The host asked: You are so young, why are you so rich?
Guo Meimei: Stock trading.
After discussion, the majority of netizens finally came to the conclusion that it is true, because they are frying butts.
6. Xiaohua became the moderator, and one day she wanted a slogan, so she asked netizens on Weibo for help. What she said was: Everyone, please help me think of a slogan. It must be high-end and elegant, but also low-key, luxurious and connotative! There is also a little sexy, which makes people unforgettable! A netizen replied: If this is the case, you are not a master, come and play! none other than…
7. There was a quiz competition in the forest. The host asked: “Can horses swim?” The pony said: “Yes, if you swim in the river, you will become a hippopotamus; if you swim in the sea, you will become a seahorse.”
8. Watching If You Are the One, the female guest said that she wanted to go to Tibet in the future, because it could cleanse her soul, but the host Meng Fei said, how dirty your soul is and needs to be washed. Then he said, those people with heart and soul can’t wash it clean wherever they go, so don’t run around. Seek the psychological shadow area of female guests.
9. When I was shopping and passing by a store today, they were doing an event in front of the store. The host pulled me and said: Handsome pot, our store is messing up the golden egg event, and we will give you whatever it breaks. After finishing speaking, a handsome girl handed over a hammer. I picked up the hammer and thought about it, and then… I hammered at the little girl next to me… Hey, brother, stop hitting. Didn’t you say that you will give away whatever you hammer? ………
10. Today’s young people don’t want to make progress, and they specialize in crooked ways. The daughter of our director’s family weighs 200 jins and got married today. The colleagues at the wedding scene not only flattered their lives
He also praised the bride for her good looks without conscience, is it the only way to get promoted and make a fortune? shallow!
Okay, let’s not talk about it. The host told me to go to the church.
11. Person A said: “Eh? B, do you like XX star?”
B said: “Oh! I really like his songs.”
A: “XX came to our place today”
B looked surprised: “No way, is it really here? I don’t believe it!”
Then the two said together: “Next, let us welcome XX to sing “XXX” for us.”
Second Olympic! Are you two B as the audience or you two are too 2B
12. When I was in junior high school, there was a school celebration ceremony one year. During the period, the host asked questions and randomly selected children’s shoes to answer. If the answer was correct, there would be a small gift. It’s question time again, the host’s question is: Who is the longest living emperor in history. I chose a strange one from our class, and that guy answered into the microphone leisurely: “Jade Emperor”, the leaders in the first three rows suffered internal injuries, and our class teacher ‘s face was instantly covered with black lines.
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