March 28, 2023

1. I like to think about it when I am bored on the bus, and then I suddenly think of Journey to the West.

In other words, it seems that Sun Wukong called the other three: Master, Bajie (idiot) and Brother Sha, did I remember it wrong? Sure enough, Bajie is true love!

2. One day, Zhu Bajie asked Tang Seng very sadly: “Master, am I the ugliest in the world?” He asked, “Master, who is that Sister Feng?”

3. The reason why Wukong and Sand Monk are close and they are at odds with Bajie is that whenever the master and apprentice are taken away by monsters, Sand Monk will say: “Don’t worry, Master, the elder brother will definitely come to save us.” Bajie would say: “Master, hurry up and use the magic spell @Senior Brother!!!”

4. Tang Sanzang: “Bajie, take two steps to show me.”

Zhu Bajie: “Master, why do you suddenly want to watch your apprentice run?”

Tang Sanzang: “I’m ashamed! I grew up in a monastery as a teacher, and I have never eaten pork, nor seen pigs run away.”

5. Your colleagues say you look like Zhu Bajie, your classmates say you look like Zhu Bajie, and your friends say you are the most like Zhu Bajie. The spring is bright and bright, and the lucky star shines brightly on Zhu Bajie, so you are angry: all wrong, I am Zhu Bajie his brother.

6. After passing the Tongtian River, the master and apprentice finally breathed a sigh of relief.

At this time, the old turtle said: Elder Tang, seeing that both your master and apprentice have achieved positive results, I wonder if you can accept me, Old Gui, as your apprentice?

Tang Seng hurriedly waved his hands: No way, no way!

The old turtle is in a hurry: why is this?

Tang Seng said: Look, I call Wukong a monkey head, Bajie a pig head, and call you…

7. Drifting said: I have 16 changes! Bajie said: I have 32 changes! Wukong said: I have 72 changes! Tang Seng was furious: I didn’t see you changing your phone on Xitian Road, and all the monsters used their mobile phones to read text messages!

8. It is said that Tang Monk, his master and his disciples discussed using the magic horse to get scriptures quickly, Bajie said to use an airplane, and Wukong said to use a rocket. Suddenly Drifting took out a gun and said: “I heard that this thing can be sent to people quickly. West Heaven”!

9. I am a “Brilliant Spring Pig Bajie”, “My brother is called Shunliu”, and I have a “Nine Sisters Pig” “Bright Spring Pig”. Our family was “contradicted” and we were separated for ten years. Finally “Reunion”!

10. Recently, a monster caught Zhu Bajie, and the monster said, “Brother, what do you think I caught?” The brother said, “Isn’t it Zhu Bajie?” The monster said, “Yes, if it wasn’t for Zhu Bajie being lazy and not looking for water I can’t catch it when I’m sleeping. Brother, eat him now.” The elder brother said: “No.” The monster said: “Why? I caught it so hard.” The elder brother said: “You You idiot, I don’t know there is swine flu going on right now.”…

11. On the way to learn the scriptures, Tang Seng said: “Wukong, I have a question to test you.

We have four masters and apprentices, if one dies, how many people are left? ”

Wukong replied: “Zero.”

Tang Seng was furious: “4-1=0? Tell me how you calculated!”

Upon hearing this, Wukong beat Tang Seng to death with a stick, then looked at Bajie and Drifting Monk and said, “There are no one left now!”

12. I went to the cinema to watch “Journey to the West” a few days ago, and found that there were three heterosexual couples in it: the parents of the child (a family of three were eaten by Drifting Monks), and the couple who ate roast pigs (both were nailed to death by Bajie) , Wenwen and Shu Qi (one was killed by Wukong, and the other became a monk). So I deeply realized a truth: heterosexuality will not have good results!

13. Zhu Bajie was injured, and Tang Seng helped him buy a Band-Aid. He said to the salesperson: Miss, buy a Band-Aid. The saleswoman gave Tang Seng a Band-Aid. After reading it, Tang Seng said, “Are there any bigger ones?” This size is too small, the injured area is large! The saleswoman gave him a disdainful look, and handed him a pack of aunt’s towels….”

14. One afternoon, I went on a trip with a few companions. As soon as I got in the car, the driver started the car. At this moment, there was a shout from behind: “Master, master, wait a minute…”

The driver may not have noticed and continued to move forward. At this time, the companion couldn’t stand it anymore, and comforted the man: “Bajie, don’t bark. We will meet you at the old place. Master will wait for you…”

15. “Master, master, the monster is here!” “Don’t panic. Tell me about the performance characteristics of that monster…” “Master. That monster is a man…” “What? A man? Hurry up… Call your big brother back… Tell him to beat that monster to death with a stick… It makes me happy for nothing…”!

16. Toad A stares blankly at the sky, and toad B asks A: “What are you thinking about staring at the sky?” Toad A sighs, “I miss Chang’e!” Toad B laughs wildly after hearing this: “Do you think that Chang’e is so beautiful?” You are Bajie?” Toad A explained very unhappy: “I want to taste the swan meat —I want to taste the goose, understand?”

17. Once I found such a strange math problem in my son’s math workbook in primary school: Tang Seng was targeted by the bone spirit. In order to find food, Monkey King drew a circle with a golden cudgel for his master and apprentice. The radius of this circle is is two meters, what is its area? Is it possible to hold Tang Seng, Bajie, Sand Monk, and White Dragon Horse? If not, how to solve it? Faced with this question, I am really drunk.

18. Master, go out for alms today. Get a concert ticket! Drifting reported to Tang Seng. OK! OK! I heard that there is also a pole dancing performance! When Bajie heard this, his nosebleeds almost flowed out. Tang Seng scolded him: Don’t think about it, you pig head, let’s leave it to your elder brother! ah! Bajie refuses to accept: why? Tang Seng said longingly: “When I recited the mantra in the past, the monkey head would jump around. This time, let him take a good look at it. How did people use iron rods to dance gracefully.

19. Two Monkey Kings suddenly appeared. Drifting anxiously asked: Master, what should I do? Tang Seng said: Amitabha, what are you in a hurry for? The truth becomes clearer and clearer. Drifting asked: Could it be that the two senior brothers each pulled a lump of poop? Bajie understood, pinching the orchid finger: I know, the one with ginseng and fruit flavor is the elder brother!

20. Reporter: Elder Tang, are you happy? Tang’s monk: Grass! My surname is monk, and I only believe in Buddha. Reporter: Brother Sha, you are the youngest one in the Western Paradise, tell me, are you happy? Sand Monk: Tsk, I am the same as Master, I am not sexually blessed, we only believe in Buddhism, and sex is not very good for monks! Reporter: Monkey King, you… Sun Wukong: Don’t ask so many questions, my surname is Sun, I only believe in my grandson, are you my grandson? Reporter embarrassment: no. Monkey King, then don’t bother! The reporter was speechless, and turned to Zhu Bajie: What about you, Canopy? Zhu Bajie: Hehe, you know, my surname is pig, and I really believe in pigs. What is a pig? Like you in front of the screen!

21. One day, Bajie asked Tang Seng: Master, is it true that I am the ugliest in this world? Tang Seng looked distressed and said: “Go and ask sister Guanyin!” When Bajie came back from Guanyin, he cheerfully asked: Haha, Master, who is XXX? Ha ha!”

22. Bajie: “Master, I still want to go to the West to learn scriptures.” Tang Seng: “Don’t make trouble, there won’t be so many sexy female fairies on the way.”

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