1. My husband and I went on a trip, but my wife said on the way, it’s over, I forgot to turn off the phone, the house must be on fire, my husband laughed, and said my wife, I also forgot to turn off the faucet, am I smart? The wife slapped her husband and said, why don’t you just turn off the phone to comfort him?
2. Husband: What time is it? Wife: Ten o’clock. Husband: Is it whole? Wife: It’s too early, no one else is asleep yet! Husband: I mean is it ten o’clock? Wife: Eleven o’clock”
3. Wife: You have to be strong at home, don’t appear to be afraid of me! ! Husband: why? Wife: I don’t want my son to subtly think that men should be afraid of their wives. Then I will be sad when I see my son being bullied… Husband: But I can’t bear to let my mother be sad alone.
4. I made an agreement with my husband to wash clothes as a secret sign of love. One day I played mahjong, and my husband couldn’t stand it anymore and called me: “Honey, go home and do the laundry.”
I was lucky and ignored it.
When I got home at night, I wanted it: “Husband, let’s do the laundry.”
Husband said: “Hand wash.”
5. The husband practiced the car with his wife, and asked him to try driving on the main road . Wife: But I’m still afraid! My husband said in embarrassment: It is others who should be afraid, you are afraid of wool!
6. Wife: If your husband Jack Ma gives you 100 million, what is the first thing you will do?
Me: Divorce you.
Wife: Angry expression, why? What about the second thing?
Me: I will marry you again. When I married you before, the wedding was a bit sloppy. Now that I have money, I will hold a beautiful wedding for you.
Wife: You look touched, husband, you are so kind.
Me: I was silently pinched in my heart. Fortunately, I was smart and escaped a beating.
7. Because I have to be separated from my girlfriend for a period of time…background cut…exchanging gifts with my second-hand girlfriend. Me: My wife, we are going to be separated. I will give you this string of close-fitting bracelets. Erhuo: Husband, I will also give you a close-fitting aunt’s scarf.
8. The wife is a foodie. One section of sugar cane, the husband uses a knife to cut it into two sections, one half for each person, so he asks the wife to take the other end. Originally, the middle one was slaughtered with a single knife, but the wife suddenly pulled her towards her, and ended up cutting it on the husband’s hand. Afterwards, more than 10 stitches were required.
The foodie wife said afterwards: “I just want to eat more…”
9.During the Spring Festival, I went out to temple fairs with my wife.
It’s not bad to see a ring. The boss is a middle-aged uncle, squatting there to set up a stall.
Ten yuan made three circles for her to play.
The wife was very happy and said that she would bring back a big doll.
Then he threw it in a circle, and hit the shopkeeper’s bald head…
The uncle owner gave me a resentful look, and then said to my wife: “Sister, if you have a husband, stop molesting uncle, okay…”
10. Wife: Husband, look how nice I am. No one sympathizes with you. I sympathize with you and married you. Husband: Yes, you finally got what you wanted. Now everyone sympathizes with me for marrying you.
11. Wife: “Today we were discussing in the office who has the best husband, and you won.”
The husband smiled and said, “Really? How do they praise me?”
The wife said: “They all say that ugly men are generally kind, and men who have no skills are afraid of their wives.”
12. After dinner, I had nothing to do to tease my son. My wife was chatting on the Internet, and suddenly asked me: Husband, you want to have 1 million, what is the one thing you want to do the most?
The son snatched the words: Mom, I know what Dad thinks? “Then tell me” “Dad wants to change his wife the most” “Baby, don’t talk nonsense”
“Mom, I won’t lie to you, I heard what my father said to my aunt with my own ears, “Wife, put the knife down, listen to me… Really nothing…
13. At ten o’clock, the wife asks her husband to do something, but the husband refuses.
Husband: Afraid of waking up my son.
The wife is very helpless.
At twelve o’clock, the wife made another appointment, but the husband refused.
Husband: Afraid of waking up my son.
Wife: I just took my son to sleep next door.
Husband: Wife, please, take me too!
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