1 .Today, I saw a mother and daughter on the way home by electric bike. The daughter was super cute. At that time, she whistled at the little beauty, and the little girl immediately said: Mom, that uncle molested me. I couldn’t meet people right then.
2. The little pig and his mother went to a restaurant for dinner. The little pig wanted to eat “braised fat intestines” and was scolded by his mother. “Are you sick? Eat your own offal? – Waiter, let’s eat dumplings!” “What kind of stuffing do you want?” “Pork and green onions.”
3. The mother penguin looked at the crowd and said, “Why do they always change their arms? Could it be that their sense of smell is not sensitive and they smell their wives wrong. You can always smell the right one. Come to me.” The father penguin said: “I can’t smell it, it’s blocked, and my wife is strict?”.
4. The child asked with tears in his eyes: “Mom, what are you hiding? Why have you refused to tell me my dad’s name for so many years?”
Mom: “Because your father never leaves his name when he does good deeds, so I still don’t know his name.”
5. One day, my mother asked Xiaodong: “Do you know who Confucius’ teacher is?”
Xiaodong thought for a while and replied, “It’s a drill!”
“ah!”
“Where can Confucius come from without a drill!” Xiaodong replied.
6. The little brother’s shop is about to open. Mom, me, and my brother go shopping together
After buying it, the price was 1454.30 yuan, and my mother began to negotiate the price, the content is as follows:
Mom: Wipe off the odds, is 1500 okay?
After listening to it, I was stunned. What was even more upsurge was the seller’s reply:
Sister, we can’t earn much, 1500 is really not enough.
I was in a mess at the time, where are you going to make a fuss?
7. Wife: “Son, eat quickly. Mom made it for you. It won’t taste good when it’s cold!” Son: “It’s okay mom, it won’t taste good anyway.”
8. The mother tiger took her cubs and chased a stag one by one. The little tiger was very tired after chasing, so he asked his mother: “Mom, we let the weak doe not chase, why did we chase this male deer?” The tiger mother immediately said in a reproachful tone: “Didn’t you keep arguing that you would find a father for you?”
9. A young couple in the class got angry. The boy couldn’t argue with the girl, and when he couldn’t get angry, he told the girl: “Look at your breasts, what’s the difference between you and me? It looks like we are brothers. The woman didn’t show weakness, and scolded: “It’s just you, look at your second brother, with your pants off, you are my best friend.” The students watching couldn’t stop laughing.
10. A buddy, because the bathroom in the dormitory of the unit has voice-activated lights, he stomps his feet when he goes there at night; last night when he was urinating, the light suddenly went out. When he was in a hurry, he stomped his feet and peed all over his pants…
11. October 10th is a holiday here. I went to give gifts to my mother-in-law that day. While they were preparing lunch with my wife, I wanted to XXOO. This guy also took the initiative. He immediately took off my pants and kissed him. I didn’t expect my mother-in-law to push me at this time. Walk in, I’m naked! This is not the climax, just when the mother-in-law turned to leave, the sister-in-law stood up from behind the sofa and shouted: Mom, didn’t you go cooking?
12. I bought soy milk and steamed stuffed buns in the morning, and ate them while walking. A trendy man walked across, wearing a headset and singing. My dad just killed him. I looked at him and smiled, and he also looked at me. Singing, Sarah, hey, soy milk, Sarah! I was surprised, yo, this guy is quite talented, and he can change words! After a while, I found that my legs were a little hot, and then very hot! When I looked down, my fucking soy milk spilled all over my pants…
13. On the bus, a man forgot to zip up his trousers, so her husband reminded him: “Hey brother, the front door is open!”… This man is super calm: “Fuck, it’s opened again!”…I’m sorry Go, instantly turn embarrassment into showing off! !
14. Every time I take off my wife’s pants after kissing, my wife beats me because I’m afraid of pain below. , I froze for 4 days and finally agreed. When I did it, the guy actually did it first… He said he couldn’t do it, and he was beaten before I got in because it was still too painful. Not to mention the nosebleed now.
15. Diaosi: “Look, this is my own younger brother. Look at how cute he looks. He has a little pink flesh, which makes people want to pinch it.”
Goddess: “Please put on your pants!”
16. Before Thanksgiving, a stingy woman asked a beggar: “Is there a button on your trousers, I will sew it for you.” The beggar said: “Good wife, I have a button here, can you sew it on?” A pair of pants?”
17. The moment before I was going to have sex with my girlfriend last night, my girlfriend said: When you are not sure enough to be responsible for a woman, I hope you don’t take off my pants. It is easy to take off, but it is difficult to put them on! ”
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