March 28, 2023

Forget about the two of you running away together, misunderstood what you mean, next time just talk about the key points, do you eat, too oily to eat, etc. 10+ funny classic husband jokes.

1. I will get married on November. Husband: I’m a little nervous! Me: why? Husband: I’m afraid you ran away. The next day, me: I’m a little nervous too! Husband: why? Me: I am also afraid that I will run away. husband:……

2.  Just now I took an umbrella to buy cigarettes for my husband. I want him to smoke the one that hurts less. Just a word to the shop aunt. Aunt. Do you have any pride here? Aunt said yes. What flavor do you want. ? I don’t understand smoking either. Just tell me what smells you have here. ? Auntie said. There are leeks. celery . Pork… I was confused at the time.

3. My husband is a mature person and basically does not touch my computer.
Occasionally look at news pages or something.
Last night after I had sex, my husband asked me to find an action movie to watch.
As a girl who often goes to forums, my sister found a love action movie…
Then my husband said in surprise: “I want to watch action movies, the kind of war.”
My sister silently turned off the fast broadcast, opened the PPS, and found the action movie.
“Is it this one”
Husband: “Yes.”

4.  A couple just woke up in the morning, and the wife touched her husband’s pocket. Said: Condom in pocket, what’s going on. went there last night? My husband replied that I drank too much last night and put on my dad’s clothes. Wife: Shout out, fart, your dad never uses that thing.

5 . After the dish was fried, the wife brought it out and said, “Taste it and evaluate it.” The husband took a bite, looked at the plate and said, “If it’s a bowl of soup, you put less water; if it’s a plate Vegetables, you put too little in your dishes.” The wife’s face sank: “Get to the point.” The husband said: “Too much salt.”

6. I have a female colleague whose husband is a pilot. At first he was a J-8 pilot, and later he was transferred to civil aviation to fly a passenger plane. She said that the most boring thing when she was in a relationship was going to Happy Valley. Same, he doesn’t even have an expression, so when you’re done, ask him, why don’t you have any expression? He said, what kind of expression does that have? When I was training, I randomly turned four or five Gs. Do you eat? When I was just browsing on the top, I saw that there are beef noodles sold below, but it is a bit expensive, 40 a bowl!

7 . Question: Is there anything happy recently?
Answer: Recently my husband got a salary increase and he is very happy, but he always complains that his butt hurts. I wonder if he has hemorrhoids.

8. I was 20 years old that year. After celebrating at home, I dragged my luggage prepared to go back to the factory to work… My mother told me: I must find a girlfriend to bring back this year, or I won’t come back. Say: What if I can’t find a girlfriend for the rest of my life? Really won’t let me go home? …My dad flew over as soon as he took off his leather shoes, and shouted: You can’t find a girlfriend, I will send you to Thailand, and ask someone to introduce you to a boyfriend when you come back. It’s gone in the blink of an eye, and now my husband and I are living happily

9.  My girlfriend held a pair of pliers and asked me: “Husband, why are you talking about pliers and moving things called tools?”
I shook my head listlessly and said, “I don’t know.”
“Stupid.” My girlfriend continued, “Because they are all for men to use!”

10.  The wife always says to her husband: “The horses are just floating clouds”. That time, the husband walked up to his wife with a gold ring and asked her what is not a floating cloud. The wife replied: “Gold ring.”

11. At noon yesterday, I took a nap with my husband. Then my best friend called, so we started chatting, and my husband was asleep all the time. Halfway through the chat, my girlfriend said: Come to my house.

I want to say: My husband is back, next time.

After saying the first six words, my husband suddenly woke up, and then desperately put on clothes on his body, and was about to rush out. At that time, I laughed heartlessly, and when we all realized it, there was a deathly silence.

12. There was a couple. The husband was seriously ill and unconscious. The doctor said he would not survive for a month at most. The wife cried and said by the hospital bed, husband, you must not leave! What if someone bullies me if you leave? You also know that the man downstairs often smiles lewdly at me. Just after finishing speaking, my husband woke up suddenly, and said with all his strength, whoever dares, I will fight him desperately. Then he stretched his feet and left without closing his eyes…

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